Why do I seem to care so much? My wife is lying in the same bed I am, mere centimeters away. Yet, it feels like we are in two different locations entirely.
I try to do everything for her, but I am starting to see that she isn’t worth it. She’s not worth believing in God. She’s not worth struggling for. She’s not worth learning for. She’s not worth dying for.
Nothing I do matters enough. She’s never happy with me. She always wants and expects more from me. A lot of times, more than what is humanly possible. She never says “thank you” for anything I do. It’s always not what she wants.
It makes me depressed enough to want to kill myself in order to get away from her. I want to die in order to be at peace finally in my life. To no longer struggle, to have my wallet drained, or to have to deal with life like this…